reptiliaherps:

earthandanimals:

sizvideos:

Video

It’s Mama swan protecting her baby! She doesn’t know the guy is just trying to help.. but then she’s like “Oh.. my bad. Thanks!!”

This is so heartwarming

(via chicken-fingers)


callerina:

hisprincessinconverse:

danfreakindavis:

REMINDER: if you have a vagina and want to use Plan B as an emergency contraceptive, it loses effectiveness if you weigh more than 165 lbs (74.84 kg) and is completely ineffective for those that weight more than 176 lbs (79.83 kg) (x)

Whhhhat?
Excuse me.
Let me spread the shit out of this.

This is horrifying. And sadly true.

(via dolphelecat)


cyanblur:

i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself”

(via chicken-fingers)


twerkingderp:

iconic

(via friherre)


jasonttodd:

callmekitto:

crackiswhacksherlock:

moriarty:

jashuwa:

moriarty:

what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt

Wait there are toilets like that?

image

what an incredible experience it must be

im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt

(via dolphelecat)


(via friherre)


fateliveswithinus:

rotbtd-thebigfour:

jumpingjacktrash:

ironinomicon:

screwyou-imhilarious:

misssquare:

ferocious-fangirl-ofdisneyland:

disneyprincess10:

No thanks

A guy at a princess store in Disneyland was asking me if I related to Merida in any way and I was like

“I don’t know man. I’m more of an Elinor.”

And he busted out laughing.

What I love most about this movie is that shows that being a princess is not wearing a beautiful dress, marrying a prince and live happily ever after, but a job, a hard job with duties and responsibilities were a lot of people depend on you

being the Lady of a medieval estate was SUCH AN IMPORTANT FUCKING JOB AND SO FUCKING FULL OF HARD WORK WHICH MEDIEVAL MEN ACKNOWLEDGED TBH

(one problem with perception of medieval gender roles is that most of the people who were writing, especially those who were writing HISTORY, were CLERGYMEN who had never been married and lived in a weird situation cut off from the way the rest of the world worked and had like no actual life experience with the real world - and then popular culture’s idea of it has been heavily informed by VICTORIAN choices of who and what to translate and popularize)

upper class medieval women were expected to run and manage the entire estate that they got from their husband (or that they already had in their own right through inheritance or as their marriage portion), a job which was acknowledged as being way difficult and requiring a wife with strength and fortitude and business sense if you wanted to be a successful person

they were the HR managers of households that might have over a hundred people in, and tho a duchess or a queen would certainly not go to the store to do the household shopping, and she probably had a steward to assist her, it was ultimately her responsibility to know what things were needed for that household, to make sure that the appropriate people obtained those things, to oversee the use of the household materials, to make sure that EVERYTHING got done so that ALL those people could live and work smoothly. they wrote letters and managed the business of the estate and networked with other members of the nobility for both important game-of-thrones political reasons and for smaller more personal reasons like ‘that guy has a really nice deer chase, so if i send him some marmalade from our garden, he might send some venison back as a return gift”

even in lower class households mom managed everything and women were basically considered to be shrewder and have better heads for that particularly kind of business than men and choosing a wise wife was the best thing you could do for yourself as a man who intended to be successful

they were like hands-on CEOs and shit yo and don’t get me wrong society was sexist as fuck and they were limited as hell in what they could do and everything was classist beyond belief but no way was being a noblewoman just a matter of sitting up a tower looking pretty & the contributions that they made are so important

also, the ladies of castles were responsible for defense when their husband was away at war (which happened a lot), so while personally participating in battle was unusual (though not entirely unheard-of) they did often find themselves in strategic command. and in wartime they frequently functioned as a sort of de facto logistics officer.

oh, and has anyone mentioned diplomacy. because an arranged marriage is only the START of a princess’s diplomatic career. the alliance she forges with her marriage is one she’s responsible for maintaining her entire life. unless she decides to go ahead and take over the country; that’s been an option too from time to time. :D

suddenly i really want to see a disney movie about a princess AFTER the wedding — forging a political bond with her new husband, defending the castle, sending troops and supplies to make sure he comes home from the war, reading secret reports from her spies in the enemy’s court… *swoon*

image

YES.

And I’ve tried to touch on this with Merida, because ALL OF THIS? THIS is why Merida has absolutely ZERO desire to get married or (eventually) become Queen. Because it means her life - every second of her free time - going down the drain as she becomes more and more tangled up in running the castle AND the kingdom.

(This is also why Elinor’s such a freaking BAMF, she’s got this shit down, man.)

(via chicken-fingers)


shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

image

image

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

(via friherre)


ja-ll:

this is great

(via chicken-fingers)



smokingcrackcocaine:

bandsareprettyrad:

courgegirl-messed-up:

One of my favorite quote of Malcolm in the middle.

Happy birthday to me

My bday every year

smokingcrackcocaine:

bandsareprettyrad:

courgegirl-messed-up:

One of my favorite quote of Malcolm in the middle.

Happy birthday to me

My bday every year

(via chicken-fingers)


On Being The Blow-Job Queen Of My High School

andrewgibby:

There are

a thousand ways

to stay in the closet.

All of them suck.

(via halfstoned)




"Mad was the last kid I saw and he was asleep. He was 3 months old and they put him in my arms and he stayed asleep and they put him in the bath and he stayed asleep and I thought he was narcoleptic or something. Then he opened his eyes and just stared at me for the longest time and I just stared at him and I started crying and he smiled. And it wasn’t that he smiled that he liked me, it was just that I hadn’t held children in my life and I was always considered so dark and I always had so many things that made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t be somebody’s mom because certainly the world has an opinion of me and I’m not so sure about myself and am I gonna be the best mom? So the fact that this little kid seemed at ease gave me the courage to feel like I could make him happy. And so we became a family right then." — Angelina Jolie

"Mad was the last kid I saw and he was asleep. He was 3 months old and they put him in my arms and he stayed asleep and they put him in the bath and he stayed asleep and I thought he was narcoleptic or something. Then he opened his eyes and just stared at me for the longest time and I just stared at him and I started crying and he smiled. And it wasn’t that he smiled that he liked me, it was just that I hadn’t held children in my life and I was always considered so dark and I always had so many things that made me feel like maybe I shouldn’t be somebody’s mom because certainly the world has an opinion of me and I’m not so sure about myself and am I gonna be the best mom? So the fact that this little kid seemed at ease gave me the courage to feel like I could make him happy. And so we became a family right then." — Angelina Jolie

(via silhouettedreverie)